A Letter.

To the one who I shan't forget;

I looked up into the starry sky tonight, it is so clear. The stars cry out for someone to look up and wonder. And all I can think of is you. Holding you tight, staring up into the Void. Accepting all that has been given to us. The soft touch of your hair on my cheek, and the close comfort as every curve of our bodies touch in unison. Such a long time it's been, yet not so long, in any grand scheme. But a lifetime to me. I long solely for your smile in my eyes, and your voice to resonate on my lips from a close embrace. I looked up at the sky. And all I see is you.

To my dearest lady. You have ruined me.


And I love you.

Apathy. The Topic To Start and End All Things.

Have you ever realized, somewhat gradually, but by a specific trigger, that something is occuring in you're life?

Ever since the M'lady incident, which anyone who's read this will know about. I've noticed a change in myself. For the worse. I feel like I'm becoming a bad person. Or a worse person. But in any case, I'm realizing, I just do not, care. About anything. Well, save a few exceptions. My family, and my nephew's and neice. Things that used to make me so happy, camping, fighting, video games, the internet, media, I just.....I get nothing. I havent even thought about my bike in months, I used to go insane if I didnt have it practically locked to my hips. I dont know really what I'm trying to say. I just dont care about things. and its bothering me. Like I've become detached, and I wonder if I'm subconsciously depressed, and not realizing it....

Gyar Matey...

So, obviously, been a few weeks. months. Whatever. A long time. I've moved to Calgary. Finally. In the past I may or may not have mentioned....many times, how often I wanted to move here. I fianlly made it. I lived in my oldest brothers basement for about a month, which was cool to see my nephews and neice every single day. But now I've moved into a place, I share a main floor of a house with 2 guys, but they're riggers, so they're never home, I practically live alone, its nice, but a bit lonely. I finally have my speakers back, and they still rattle the walls, naturally. :) I have a small tv, my computer, guitar, PS2 and Xbox 360 in my room here, with my speakers, and I sleep on an airmatress because I threw out my bed when I left the apartment with Bro this spring. Once I save some money I'll be buying myself a bed, most likely a double, something not so tiny as my old single haha.

I now side houses for a living. Still learning, of course, I fuck up alot, but, I'm catching on bit by bit.

Am I the only person who finds it mildly depressing and alot irritating that people talk like they want to hang out, be friends, be cool, and then when you try to get ahold of them, they blow you off, dont talk, or you text them and they're like 'who's this'?

yeah. nice.

So I was in such a terrible mood yesterday. Aside from it being a monday, and not going that well to begin with, I'd lost the bead from my lip ring a few days before, and swallowed it during lunch. I cant afford a replacement, and I have no extras. so now its grown in. I'm so mad. I LOVED that thing. now I need to get it repierced. GRR. I turned 22 on friday. Yet another birthday, come and gone, where I've done nothing. I....went to work, my boss gave my a joint, which is sitting in my desk doing nothing....I went to my brothers, ate cake and sat around....and then I went home, and fell asleep, because the people I was supposed to hang out with bailed. Again. I havent talked to Bro in weeks, he apparently moved to a place in lethbridge. Has no job, sick, and no phone. its a bit irritating. My thoughts are all over the place. Yesterday I was in this state, I just wanted to write. and then got home, slacked off, and lost everything I wanted to type. Fuck.



Several days later, unfinished post....fuck it.