Deep Cuts

Man, this one, that hurt. 3 days of plans, gone. I stayed up until 3am last night cleaning, got up at 10 and cleaned again until 2:30 this afternoon. My house is spotless. We were supposed to go walking, head to the mall, come back and have a big dinner, and then go see a movie. She bailed on the first half so she could go run errands and pick up food to help make dinner......and then never called, never called, never called, and then after I called her, she called back and said she got called in to work on her day off. Instead of just saying she had plans and couldnt go in. But she's like "ok well it'll only be a couple hours then I'll come have a late dinner". It's 10:45 at night, and she turned her phone off when I called. Inside, this one hurt. I bought her wine, flowers, defrosted my best elk steaks, went out and bought a pile of things so I could make a nice chocolate dessert for her. And poof. I feel like that solitary candle, waiting and waiting and melting away, until I just .... go out. I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm so sad I cant even eat.