I've Hit a Down Plateau

So I was listening to music tonight, wondering about all the people we may meet in heaven that we've forgotten about over the years, and how the reunions would be, when my firecracker came on the playlist. Matchbox Romance - Tiger Lily. This song always makes a gap appear in my soul. I'm crying, again. I wonder to myself, what was the trigger, what really made her change? From my standpoint at least she seemed pretty damn happy when we were together. I think I need to talk to her about it. I hate confrontations. They're so damn hard. I almost guarantee I'll choke up a few times. Thats if I dont just break. Y'know one of the last things she said before leaving was "why cant we stop time?". As far as I know, thats a fair indication she was happy. I would kill to be able to have that back. I wonder, am I being over selfish about it? I want her to be happy, and truely such, but wasnt she? What is happiness, and how is it defined in each of us, is there something we need to acheive, something different for everyone that will really bring it out? Even my parents almost understand what I lost. My mother came down to me one day, she said "I know you dont think we understand, but we do, we know the look in your eyes, and we saw how happy she really made you, and we're sorry". Parents are a hell of an anti-drug. For all those who think their parents can never understand, your right, to an extent. No one can understand except God, because no one else has been in your exact shoes, but our parents have been through some pretty heavy shit, so listen to them. My father gave me some exceptional advice, dont expect what was there, it may be truely gone, but dont give up on her, at least keep a friend. I'll do my damndest (sp). Anyways, I have a headache that could level a minotaur, so Im going to bed. Good night.