Convenience to A Womans Mind
Ok, now the title of this is a little bit misleading, I dont think this of ALL women, just a few, but it fits the topic, so ladies, dont hate me, enough of you already do.
So this one girl who I had a bit of a thing with about a half a year ago (J-nz) about a month ago says she wants a relationship, with me. Which is odd considering she's shut me down many times. Now, I was taken at the time, so I was like "Sorry, taken, if I'm lucky" and she wanted to wait till M'Lady got home to see if it was a go or not. It wasnt, so J-nz and I have hung out a bit. Im not going to up jump rebound into it, and she knows that. So one day I gave her a REALLY REALLY long hug, and she was like "you shouldve kissed me" and I kind of wanted to, but I was like, no, just no. And then 3 days later she has a boyfriend. Can people explain this to me? Am I just that easy to get past? (oh, and as a side note, you may notice the intelligence in alot of my rants are much lower than others, this is because I the ones that are intelligent are all from more deep inside, while these are more off the top of the head) ANYWAYS. Yeah, so then I talk to her tonight and she's like "well I just wanted someone there, it wont last anyways, Id hoped YOU'D ask me out, but you need space". WELL YEAH. its been a week today! oh well. You know this really isnt worth bitching about, so Im just gonna drop it.
So I went up to my world favorite place EVER for the night last night, Waterton. Had a night to sit, think, and reflect. Its strange. Everytime Im there my thoughts just line themselves up and my problems get worked out. Its so simple. I decided that with M'Lady, she may not want to date, but over my dead body will I lose her. We can at LEAST be friends, and maybe, if Im lucky, in the long run we'll date again. So I came back today and bolted for the flower shop, because Id forgotten to get her some for her birthday since she dumped me. haha. So I got her a pot of hybrid lilies. (Lilies are her favorite) I ran them over before work. It didnt go to bad. Her mother looked pissed off that I was there, but whatever. She was sleeping, but she came out, said thanks, and was talking about how busy getting ready for Uni was, which I totally understand, been there, done that for college, its a burner your first year. So I told her when things calm down to call and we'd go run amok. She gave me a hug and said sure, and then I ran for work. It made me smile. Its interesting. Everytime I see her I can especially feel the gap in my soul, but at the same time I feel like the gap is healing...because she's right there. The lilies has 3 open buds, I was going to tell her they stood for my 3 favorite memories of us, but he mom was there so I left it. The 3 memories being #3 - The Fireworks on Canada Day together. (and the rest of the day) #2 - Going to Waterton for a day Together, and then #1 - That devastating Smile.
I think I might ask her if I can produce her singing and use her as a model for alot of my media stuff this year. I had some serious inspiration with her around, its like she was MADE of inspiration. *sigh* well, I think I'll leave this and finish it later, Im going to go see and old friend for a while. *insert 2 hour break here* Ok, I return, and all the things I was going to say have lost me. dammit. oh well. another time. until then, good day, and fuck you.
So this one girl who I had a bit of a thing with about a half a year ago (J-nz) about a month ago says she wants a relationship, with me. Which is odd considering she's shut me down many times. Now, I was taken at the time, so I was like "Sorry, taken, if I'm lucky" and she wanted to wait till M'Lady got home to see if it was a go or not. It wasnt, so J-nz and I have hung out a bit. Im not going to up jump rebound into it, and she knows that. So one day I gave her a REALLY REALLY long hug, and she was like "you shouldve kissed me" and I kind of wanted to, but I was like, no, just no. And then 3 days later she has a boyfriend. Can people explain this to me? Am I just that easy to get past? (oh, and as a side note, you may notice the intelligence in alot of my rants are much lower than others, this is because I the ones that are intelligent are all from more deep inside, while these are more off the top of the head) ANYWAYS. Yeah, so then I talk to her tonight and she's like "well I just wanted someone there, it wont last anyways, Id hoped YOU'D ask me out, but you need space". WELL YEAH. its been a week today! oh well. You know this really isnt worth bitching about, so Im just gonna drop it.
So I went up to my world favorite place EVER for the night last night, Waterton. Had a night to sit, think, and reflect. Its strange. Everytime Im there my thoughts just line themselves up and my problems get worked out. Its so simple. I decided that with M'Lady, she may not want to date, but over my dead body will I lose her. We can at LEAST be friends, and maybe, if Im lucky, in the long run we'll date again. So I came back today and bolted for the flower shop, because Id forgotten to get her some for her birthday since she dumped me. haha. So I got her a pot of hybrid lilies. (Lilies are her favorite) I ran them over before work. It didnt go to bad. Her mother looked pissed off that I was there, but whatever. She was sleeping, but she came out, said thanks, and was talking about how busy getting ready for Uni was, which I totally understand, been there, done that for college, its a burner your first year. So I told her when things calm down to call and we'd go run amok. She gave me a hug and said sure, and then I ran for work. It made me smile. Its interesting. Everytime I see her I can especially feel the gap in my soul, but at the same time I feel like the gap is healing...because she's right there. The lilies has 3 open buds, I was going to tell her they stood for my 3 favorite memories of us, but he mom was there so I left it. The 3 memories being #3 - The Fireworks on Canada Day together. (and the rest of the day) #2 - Going to Waterton for a day Together, and then #1 - That devastating Smile.
I think I might ask her if I can produce her singing and use her as a model for alot of my media stuff this year. I had some serious inspiration with her around, its like she was MADE of inspiration. *sigh* well, I think I'll leave this and finish it later, Im going to go see and old friend for a while. *insert 2 hour break here* Ok, I return, and all the things I was going to say have lost me. dammit. oh well. another time. until then, good day, and fuck you.
posted by brokenhalo76 at 9:53 PM
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