Fucking was how babies were made.
Music: Foo Fighters - DOA
Sheer brilliance. It comes in select few, especially in this day an age where wrought ingenuity is all but lost on the technology that it ironically created to replace itself. Kurt Vonnegut, author of 'Breakfast of Champions', is one of those select few. I'm on a greyhound bus, at 8:02 in the morning, headed for Calgary in hopes to visit a lady I'm highly taken with, and my brother and his family. Bro lent be the aforementioned book, said I'd love it. I've read only 5 or 6 pages, and I do, its genuine cynicism is truely specatular plainly for its truth in fact. Mentioned is the American national anthem, nonense about war, riddled with question marks, following the writing of which, the Star Spangled banner was written in law to "never be dipped to person or thing", which, also noted, flag-dipping was a social sign of respect. The sheer arrogance of this law begats so much that comes to follow in our time. The inevitable bullying of other, smaller, in general ALL other countries, by threat of invasion or explosion. How is it, when one country says "we want you to disarm, so you dont kill us", that its ok for that same country to keep thousands of the worlds most devastating weapons, as 'precaution'? Also briefly mentioned is the idiocy of our European ancestry in not correcting our schooling. The America's were not "first found and inhabited" by humans in 1942, quite the contrary, as Natives, Tribal factions, all the way back prior to Aztec's even, had covered, and thrived over this land. 1942 was just when we started stealing what they'd worked so hard to create, an actual civilization.
Ok, 2 days later and I've taken a break from the book.....2 days ago, mostly because of the arrival in Calgary and following events. So lets take a look at them. My nephew, is getting better, which in that fact alone is enough to make me a happy man. As long as he's mending, I'm good. But for other purposes, not so much. So I've mentioned I had a place lined up to live (I think anyways), well, it was in the basement of a girl's house, and that girl, I happen to have a rather large crush on. She knows this, and seemingly reciprocates, typically a good thing. So, before Christmas I asked for her address, I'd wanted to send her a Christmas card, and possibly visit her. Neither of these came to fruition however and I've been a bit bitchy about it, to be blatant. So I went to go see her yesterday, got a ride up to SAIT, and started my trek, which by map, should only have been about 4 blocks. Four blocks down, I was not seeing the right place, so I start a walk in what SEEMS to be the right direction. (Just because its bugging me that I haven't named her, she'll be known as Shera). I realized, wait a goddamn minute I've been walking the wrong direction for 6 blocks. Fuck. So I start to job the other way, because for some strange reason, it was nagging at me to hurry, that I might miss her and she'd leave, or something retarded like that. I always get a nagging feeling in the stomach, and butterflies from hell everytime I'm about to see her, which is surprising, I've met ALOT of people off the internet, including girls I like, and I'm never nervous about it. Her though, everytime. Its like I somehow fear that I'll blow any chance I have out of the water, but I digress. I jog, man did I jog. With a 40 lb backpack chaffing my lower back as bad as wearing straight burlap, I jogged. And then I walk, for about a block, vainly of course, not wanting to look like I'd ran and seemed desperate to see her (although really, I suppose I was, I really like her). So I walk up to the house, knock on the door and think "sweet, I have milk chocolate cuz its her fav, I'll surprise her with a visit". Ring....Ring.....Knock Knock. No one's home. Son. of. a. mother. fucker. But the girl walking down the road looks strangely like her sister...can't be went into the house across the road. So I left the M&M's I'd gotten for her, and walked across the road to some construction guys, borrowed a pencil and a block of cardboard (yes, a BLOCK of cardboard, no doubt from the packing of something), and wrote a quick note "Shera, you SUCK, I came all the way and you aren't home!" And leave. Caught the bus..the C-train, all the way back down to Chinook Mall. I order a burrito. I'm munchin, and thinkin "fuck, all this way...WAIT A MINUTE!" I'd come to the sudden clueing in, that she lives in a 2 story house, she's told me, not a one story. And the house across the street WAS a 2 story house. It must've BEEN her sister. Well I came all this way, I'm not leaving without at least one more shot at seeing her. So BACK onto the train, and I catch an extremely brief cab ride to her block, walk up and suddenly I'm hit with a streak of panic so bad I almost walked away, I'd even started back down the walk. What if I was wrong, what if this isnt her house, what if all my so sluethy deductions were a complete fallacy made up in my head? I had to try, so I thought of a line at the door "Excuse me, does Shera ******* live here?" (weak, so what). But I knock, and she opens the door, holding her dog back, and mutters a "Hi". Suddenly her head snaps up, and she following conversation goes approximately
"uh...HI! Oh my God what're you doing here?"
"Well hi, I told you I'd randomly show up at your door one day. WITH milk chocolate (pulled out a new bag of m&m's)"
"Awwww" (ensuing hug and a brief kiss I wasnt expecting but was blushingly glad to have)
"So how are you?"
"I can't believe you're here, how did you get here?"
"Greyhound...and walking...and the c-train"
"I can't believe you're here...but my son's Dad is coming in like, 2 minutes...I'm sorry.."
"Well that bites, I was here earlier, like 3 hours ago, but YOU, gave me the wrong address, and I went across the road"
"Really? thats funny. I can't believe you're here"
To which I laughed, took another couple hugs, a nice kiss, and her Ex pulled up, so I left. Was going to say hi to her ex, just for the reaction, but I didnt feel like starting a fight. But my first thought at seeing him, I swear, was "what a tool..I could so take him out". Stupid testosterone. So I went back on the bus, back on the C-train, and back to Chinook, and since I couldnt get ahold of my sister, I walked. Now, I'm used to lethbridge, where mostly likely just due to the sheer number of street lights and possibly the layout of the city, a 5 minute drive is about a 15-20 minute walk equivalent. Not in Calgary. And during late rush hour, around 7:30 pm, walking down Glenmore, is a very BAD idea, especially having to outwit exits and merges and traffic and run across the road several times. It was NOT a fun time. Took me about an hour...perhaps an hour and a half I dont know, my phone was off, never saw the time. Now Shera had promised to call, or email, or get ahold of me SOMEHOW so we could spend time together today. Never happened, naturally. For someone as interested as she claims to be, she sure doesnt put much of an effort in. I realize she has busy times and a child to take care of, but for shits sake, you have to try a LITTLE bit for something to happen! But oh well, slept at my brothers house, got up, went to the hospital, saw my nephew, who proceeded to attept to stuff a donut in his mouth, something he apparently hasnt tried in weeks. A good sign. So leaving the hospital I catch the bus...C-train...and bus, and walk up to her house, yet again. Theoretically the 3rd time in 24 hours. Although technically only twice. She answers, "oh, hi" and goes to wash dishes. I probly spent a half hour just....standing and talking, and she didnt seem to care I was even in the building. So it was a bit of a down side. I almost felt like she didnt like me anymore. I felt BAD even, just for going! Worst part yet, she tells me her dad has decided to sell the house, and move her and the family down to Oregon. Well double whammy, I just lost my apartment AND the girl I like, in one sentence. Ouch. Trying to hide quite easily apparent heartbreak, I stood around for a few more minutes, and then she apparently had to go write a test at her school, so I left so she could get ready. Decided screw the bus, I'm going for a walk down the Trans Canada (at least it has a freakin sidewalk). I saw some REALLY cool stuff, I went into a killer pawn shop, saw a few very nice articles. Went into Guitarworks and saw the most intense display of Gibson SG's and acoustic guitars I've ever witnessed. The Acoustic display rooms were beautifully arranged for display, colored nicely, and smelled of fresh sawdust, which personally, I love the smell of. I wanted to curl up and sleep. I was happy in there. But I kept on truckin, and eventually found a little hole in the wall podunk internet game cafe. So I threw down for a bit, it was really cheap, and played some World of Warcraft, which Shera, in specific had conned me into buying. After a couple hours (I decided I liked it there), she was online, and told me she never did end up at the school, and was in a really bad mood, and was sorry I had to leave. Well, ok, I guess thats an apology. Told me she'd fought with her dad, which is a shame, I've fought with my parents, its never fun. But we spoke a little bit, and I think she was either ignoring me, or just enveloped in the game. Who knows. But I felt REALLY bad, when she said during her fight, someone knocked on the door and she was like "for FUCKS sake"....she denies, but I think she thought it was me. So I felt even worse. But again, contrary to promise, she never called. or will, I dont think. So I called up my sister and got back on the greyhound, I'm not going to waste her or my time and the last few dollars I have going back on the C-train tomorrow. I'll just go home, veg out, play Xbox....and probably be really sad. I really like her, and I dont want the chance to slip away. Anyone understand why I get so excessively emo now? All the chances I have to be happy seem to just....slip away, with nothing I can do to prevent it. Its not HER stopping me from moving in with her, its her dad. The landlord. If the landlord doesnt want to rent what can you do? I sigh. Argh. I hate to say it but I totally think I've completely fallen for her. I need a nap. I'll write again another time
Sheer brilliance. It comes in select few, especially in this day an age where wrought ingenuity is all but lost on the technology that it ironically created to replace itself. Kurt Vonnegut, author of 'Breakfast of Champions', is one of those select few. I'm on a greyhound bus, at 8:02 in the morning, headed for Calgary in hopes to visit a lady I'm highly taken with, and my brother and his family. Bro lent be the aforementioned book, said I'd love it. I've read only 5 or 6 pages, and I do, its genuine cynicism is truely specatular plainly for its truth in fact. Mentioned is the American national anthem, nonense about war, riddled with question marks, following the writing of which, the Star Spangled banner was written in law to "never be dipped to person or thing", which, also noted, flag-dipping was a social sign of respect. The sheer arrogance of this law begats so much that comes to follow in our time. The inevitable bullying of other, smaller, in general ALL other countries, by threat of invasion or explosion. How is it, when one country says "we want you to disarm, so you dont kill us", that its ok for that same country to keep thousands of the worlds most devastating weapons, as 'precaution'? Also briefly mentioned is the idiocy of our European ancestry in not correcting our schooling. The America's were not "first found and inhabited" by humans in 1942, quite the contrary, as Natives, Tribal factions, all the way back prior to Aztec's even, had covered, and thrived over this land. 1942 was just when we started stealing what they'd worked so hard to create, an actual civilization.
Ok, 2 days later and I've taken a break from the book.....2 days ago, mostly because of the arrival in Calgary and following events. So lets take a look at them. My nephew, is getting better, which in that fact alone is enough to make me a happy man. As long as he's mending, I'm good. But for other purposes, not so much. So I've mentioned I had a place lined up to live (I think anyways), well, it was in the basement of a girl's house, and that girl, I happen to have a rather large crush on. She knows this, and seemingly reciprocates, typically a good thing. So, before Christmas I asked for her address, I'd wanted to send her a Christmas card, and possibly visit her. Neither of these came to fruition however and I've been a bit bitchy about it, to be blatant. So I went to go see her yesterday, got a ride up to SAIT, and started my trek, which by map, should only have been about 4 blocks. Four blocks down, I was not seeing the right place, so I start a walk in what SEEMS to be the right direction. (Just because its bugging me that I haven't named her, she'll be known as Shera). I realized, wait a goddamn minute I've been walking the wrong direction for 6 blocks. Fuck. So I start to job the other way, because for some strange reason, it was nagging at me to hurry, that I might miss her and she'd leave, or something retarded like that. I always get a nagging feeling in the stomach, and butterflies from hell everytime I'm about to see her, which is surprising, I've met ALOT of people off the internet, including girls I like, and I'm never nervous about it. Her though, everytime. Its like I somehow fear that I'll blow any chance I have out of the water, but I digress. I jog, man did I jog. With a 40 lb backpack chaffing my lower back as bad as wearing straight burlap, I jogged. And then I walk, for about a block, vainly of course, not wanting to look like I'd ran and seemed desperate to see her (although really, I suppose I was, I really like her). So I walk up to the house, knock on the door and think "sweet, I have milk chocolate cuz its her fav, I'll surprise her with a visit". Ring....Ring.....Knock Knock. No one's home. Son. of. a. mother. fucker. But the girl walking down the road looks strangely like her sister...can't be went into the house across the road. So I left the M&M's I'd gotten for her, and walked across the road to some construction guys, borrowed a pencil and a block of cardboard (yes, a BLOCK of cardboard, no doubt from the packing of something), and wrote a quick note "Shera, you SUCK, I came all the way and you aren't home!" And leave. Caught the bus..the C-train, all the way back down to Chinook Mall. I order a burrito. I'm munchin, and thinkin "fuck, all this way...WAIT A MINUTE!" I'd come to the sudden clueing in, that she lives in a 2 story house, she's told me, not a one story. And the house across the street WAS a 2 story house. It must've BEEN her sister. Well I came all this way, I'm not leaving without at least one more shot at seeing her. So BACK onto the train, and I catch an extremely brief cab ride to her block, walk up and suddenly I'm hit with a streak of panic so bad I almost walked away, I'd even started back down the walk. What if I was wrong, what if this isnt her house, what if all my so sluethy deductions were a complete fallacy made up in my head? I had to try, so I thought of a line at the door "Excuse me, does Shera ******* live here?" (weak, so what). But I knock, and she opens the door, holding her dog back, and mutters a "Hi". Suddenly her head snaps up, and she following conversation goes approximately
"uh...HI! Oh my God what're you doing here?"
"Well hi, I told you I'd randomly show up at your door one day. WITH milk chocolate (pulled out a new bag of m&m's)"
"Awwww" (ensuing hug and a brief kiss I wasnt expecting but was blushingly glad to have)
"So how are you?"
"I can't believe you're here, how did you get here?"
"Greyhound...and walking...and the c-train"
"I can't believe you're here...but my son's Dad is coming in like, 2 minutes...I'm sorry.."
"Well that bites, I was here earlier, like 3 hours ago, but YOU, gave me the wrong address, and I went across the road"
"Really? thats funny. I can't believe you're here"
To which I laughed, took another couple hugs, a nice kiss, and her Ex pulled up, so I left. Was going to say hi to her ex, just for the reaction, but I didnt feel like starting a fight. But my first thought at seeing him, I swear, was "what a tool..I could so take him out". Stupid testosterone. So I went back on the bus, back on the C-train, and back to Chinook, and since I couldnt get ahold of my sister, I walked. Now, I'm used to lethbridge, where mostly likely just due to the sheer number of street lights and possibly the layout of the city, a 5 minute drive is about a 15-20 minute walk equivalent. Not in Calgary. And during late rush hour, around 7:30 pm, walking down Glenmore, is a very BAD idea, especially having to outwit exits and merges and traffic and run across the road several times. It was NOT a fun time. Took me about an hour...perhaps an hour and a half I dont know, my phone was off, never saw the time. Now Shera had promised to call, or email, or get ahold of me SOMEHOW so we could spend time together today. Never happened, naturally. For someone as interested as she claims to be, she sure doesnt put much of an effort in. I realize she has busy times and a child to take care of, but for shits sake, you have to try a LITTLE bit for something to happen! But oh well, slept at my brothers house, got up, went to the hospital, saw my nephew, who proceeded to attept to stuff a donut in his mouth, something he apparently hasnt tried in weeks. A good sign. So leaving the hospital I catch the bus...C-train...and bus, and walk up to her house, yet again. Theoretically the 3rd time in 24 hours. Although technically only twice. She answers, "oh, hi" and goes to wash dishes. I probly spent a half hour just....standing and talking, and she didnt seem to care I was even in the building. So it was a bit of a down side. I almost felt like she didnt like me anymore. I felt BAD even, just for going! Worst part yet, she tells me her dad has decided to sell the house, and move her and the family down to Oregon. Well double whammy, I just lost my apartment AND the girl I like, in one sentence. Ouch. Trying to hide quite easily apparent heartbreak, I stood around for a few more minutes, and then she apparently had to go write a test at her school, so I left so she could get ready. Decided screw the bus, I'm going for a walk down the Trans Canada (at least it has a freakin sidewalk). I saw some REALLY cool stuff, I went into a killer pawn shop, saw a few very nice articles. Went into Guitarworks and saw the most intense display of Gibson SG's and acoustic guitars I've ever witnessed. The Acoustic display rooms were beautifully arranged for display, colored nicely, and smelled of fresh sawdust, which personally, I love the smell of. I wanted to curl up and sleep. I was happy in there. But I kept on truckin, and eventually found a little hole in the wall podunk internet game cafe. So I threw down for a bit, it was really cheap, and played some World of Warcraft, which Shera, in specific had conned me into buying. After a couple hours (I decided I liked it there), she was online, and told me she never did end up at the school, and was in a really bad mood, and was sorry I had to leave. Well, ok, I guess thats an apology. Told me she'd fought with her dad, which is a shame, I've fought with my parents, its never fun. But we spoke a little bit, and I think she was either ignoring me, or just enveloped in the game. Who knows. But I felt REALLY bad, when she said during her fight, someone knocked on the door and she was like "for FUCKS sake"....she denies, but I think she thought it was me. So I felt even worse. But again, contrary to promise, she never called. or will, I dont think. So I called up my sister and got back on the greyhound, I'm not going to waste her or my time and the last few dollars I have going back on the C-train tomorrow. I'll just go home, veg out, play Xbox....and probably be really sad. I really like her, and I dont want the chance to slip away. Anyone understand why I get so excessively emo now? All the chances I have to be happy seem to just....slip away, with nothing I can do to prevent it. Its not HER stopping me from moving in with her, its her dad. The landlord. If the landlord doesnt want to rent what can you do? I sigh. Argh. I hate to say it but I totally think I've completely fallen for her. I need a nap. I'll write again another time
posted by brokenhalo76 at 11:58 PM
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