Covalescense

I've had that word on my mind all week, went to look it up on dictionary.com, yeah its not a word, doesnt exist. There's coalescense, and convalescense, but not covalescense. So I have no idea where it came from. ah well. So I had another little mind quirk, and I decided to start writing whatever I could from the word 'aspire'. Here goes:

I look to the sky at night,
I sleep I sleep, I dream a dream
of desires to crave, of pursuits of life
Ambition drives, aiming to new heights
From heights I stand, looking at the land
Strewn world to consume, to live
I yearn to create, I long to fly higher
The stars welcome my wish of flight
they seek the ends, which never come
The spiral of dreams, when will it end
I look to the sky at night I see
I sleep, I sleep
I dream...


Hokey, yeah, but oh well, its what came to mind, plus, its kind of how I'm feeling right now. I get so fed up with things, people, in general. People who bend truths, people who name false promises, most of all people who while continueing to live in pain, refuse to accept help, while maintaining they'd take all the help they can get. I'm sick of hearing from people things that you know they're only saying to make you happy, while it may be unintentional, they're only hurting you worse in the long run. How many times have I heard "well, if the circumstances were different", "well, I'm not ready for that right now", while I'm no idiot, and they damn well know it. I watch my friends while I talk to them, I remember things they say, I know how they act, I'm not a retard, don't feed me bullshit. Prime example, a girl I met while staying at a hotel, was going on about how her 2 year boyfriend treats her like crap, and she dumps him and he always comes crawling back. They broke up yet again, and I told her, dont let him come back, and dont you DARE go back to him, it basically MEANS he can walk all over you. What does she do? Sends him love letters professing her undying love. Good god.

Another example, a friend from a year or so ago, "I'm not ready for a boyfriend, I really like you, but I couldnt handle the relationship" and within a week, she's dating someone or trying to date someone. Do people really think I'm so dense I can't see these things happening? Maybe I just look that stupid or something, but in reality, I'm usually not quiet around people for no reason, I may have nothing to say that has any relevance, but I stay quiet because I'm evaluating, and watching, making personal notes about people. Yet another example, last time I was hanging out with a girl, she was all "well I totally like you, but I can't, its too fast" yeah, right, because either your a whore, or your not that interested. the rest of the time I hung out with her, I watched her talk about some guy in town, or the last boyfriend she had. (note, this is the same girl as the boyfriend above)

Well, following the usual trend of using music that tends to lean towards a situation I'm having, here's another one:

SR-71 - Right Now


She clings to me like cellophane
Fake plastic submarine
Slowly driving me insane
But now that's over

So what if the sex was great
Just a temporary escape
Another thing I grew to hate
But now that's over

Why you always kick me when I'm high
Knock me down till we see eye to eye
Figured her out I know she
May not be Miss Right but she'll do right now

I used to hang on every word
Each lie was more absurd
Kept me so insecure
But now that's over

She taught me how to trust
And to believe in us
And then she taught me how to cuss ... that bitch!
It's over

I used to be such a nice boy


there. I suppose the key points are the last 3 stanzas and the last line. Women suck, but at the same time, I know its worth the shot so I keep throwing myself in headfirst. Maybe I am that stupid...if you want to comment, comment or email me if you know it, otherwise, I'm going for a shower, fuck you too.